The choice

* Writer's note: the events described here are deeply connected with the story "How Darak Shadowblade was exiled from Morrowind"; I suggest you have a look at that before reading this tale *

I had been living with the Crimson Blades for several months; during this time I performed many a duty for the guild; at first I began writing reports of all the strange events I had witnessed during my journeys (I remember I nearly drove mad the librarian, CB Elder Iceman, so many were the tales I gave him to copy in the Book of Legends and in such a short time!). Then the Seneschal Orisis, after I told him about a strange, but very real dream I had (*A journey to Tristram*), put me in charge of helping others who would venture in that realm, in the dungeons beneath the village of Tristram. But this too came to an end when the newly elected Primus, Iceman, appointed me to run the section he previously took care of: the library! I was proud and happy at the same time, for this was what I had always longed for, so I dedicated myself to my new task with the utmost zest: I made a new project of how I thought the library should look and, after some time, a new deposit of lore was ready for everybody to learn from.

One day I was taking a stroll outside the Crimson Blades Castle when I was appraoched by a young urchin who handed me a parchment without a single word; I grabbed him and tried to ask him more about it, but I understood he was mute, so I let him go. Slowly I unrolled the message and gasped: it was written in a language I knew very well but that I hadn't been speaking for a long time (except for a few occasions with my friend Aquaricat): it was in the Dark Elves' tongue! I read it carefully, pondering every single word:

"To Darak, son of Tarak, of the House of Tenkor,
    we have urgent matters to discuss with you. Meet us at midnight at the crossroad south of Burgcester, on the Daggerfall-Penbrugh road.
    The Avengers"

The place was not distant from the Crimson Blades Castle (and obviously it had been chosen for this reason); with my steed, it would have taken me no more than an hour ride, but then I thought I'd better go walking, relying on magic to speed me up and shield me with a cloak of invisibility; maybe the Avengers would spot me anyway, but there was always a chance I could deceive them: after all, they could not know about how much my illusion skill had improved with time. The letter did not mention anything about coming alone and unarmed, but I would never have gone without my weapon, whatever the message could say; for a while I thought about bringing along one of my fellow guild members, then I decided this was something that regarded just me and I had to deal with it on my own.

I came back to the castle and waited until a couple of hours before midnight; then I wore my armor and sheathed my Dai-Katana and, without a word, I went on my way. The guards patrolling the walls did not notice me, for not only I was invisible, but I had passed right over their heads thanks to a flying spell. Maybe somebody in the castle could have noticed my leaving, but this was of no concern to me: I just had to settle the matter with my former fellows... for good.

I arrived at the crossroad  half an hour before the given time. It was a night of new moon but my dark elven sight helped me spot a couple of figures hidden in the trees nearby (to say the truth, the time I had spent with humans in sunlight had reduced my natural skill, but not at the point not to distinguish shapes even in utter darkness). I landed silently just behind one of them and unsheathed my Dai-Katana without a noise. With but a single movement I blocked the dark elf, my sword at his throat, and willingly dispelled my cloak of invisibility.

"You make a move, you're dead" I whispered in his ponted ear in dark elven tongue. Then I shouted to his companion: "You too, put down your weapon... slowly!"

Suddenly a sound of clapping hands, the mockery of an applause, came from my left. A third dark elf, whose presence I hadn't been able to detect before, emerged from darkness, probably uncloaking from a spell like mine.

"Congratulaions, Darak, son of Tarak. Your skills have noticeably improved since the last time I saw you, even without my teaching..."

As he came closer, I recognized him as Sarkan, one of my former instructors, maybe the best one I had during the period I spent among the Avengers.

"Now, leave my two apprentices alone: they won't bother you anymore... We've got to speak..."

I did as he told and loosened the grasp on the dark elf I was holding; they bowed at their master, then silently disappered in the nearby bushes.

We were alone, Sarkan and I, staring each other in the eyes. No sound came from the woods. The air seemed to be whirling around us.

"So... you've gone a long way since we last met; I had never imagined there could be such a powerful magic within you... and this is the reason I was sent to talk to you: the Avengers want you back, Darak."

I was suprised by his words; all of a sudden I began to daydream about my homeland: a stream of memories flew through my mind as I remembered the landscapes, the people, the towns of my country. I was so sure I had been exiled for good that I did not even dare to hope I would ever see Morrowind again... and now I had this chance at hand.

"Will you lift this curse from me, then?" I asked, referring to the silver skull on my forehead, the symbol of my shame.

"Of course... everything will return as before, as you had accomplished your passing rite"

"But... I DID accomplish it. I was cast away for another reason..."

"Ha! So you haven't realized it in all this time! Maybe you are less smart than I thought... Killing that manticore, albeit dangerous, was not intended to be your mission: we wanted to know what your reactions would be... you disappointed us, in that occasion... but now we are confident you learned your lesson and would not help a mere human again..." the tone of his voice was sarcastical, like his words.

"So you arranged it all: you deliberately attacked a member of the Avian Cavalry just to test me??" I was getting really furious...

"Of course. One of their rocs is no match for a couple of our wyverns..." Sarkan said with a malevolent grin.

"Didn't you realize that such an "incident" could provoke a war, had the empire soldiers discovered it? In this way you endangered the lives of all dark elves..."

"...and we did that all for you, Darak: to test the loyalty you had towards you fellows. Don't you feel proud for it?"

"No, I don't! Besides, you nearly killed a man!"

"From how long do you care for silly humans?" he too was getting angry.

"I've changed in so many ways you would never imagine. You look at me, but you do not see me: I'm not the same dark elf you threw beyond the borders of Morrowind. I learned so many things since I remained alone, things you will never understand in your whole life: I learned compassion, sympathy, gratitude; I helped and was helped; I made many friends, real friends and I found a home. Here my heart lies and here I will stay!"

"Is this your decision, Darak?"

"It is."

"Then be it!" and with a swift movement he unsheated his sword and pointed it towards me.

I was about to raise mine, but he did not make a step... Sarkan did not want a duel, not now at least.

"Remember, Darak: should our paths cross again, I will give you what you deserve: you will die by my sword... very slowly..."

With these threatening words he put away his weapon, turned around and, after a few steps, vanished in darkness like mist. I stood there silent for some long moments, then I sheathed my Dai-Katana and moved towards the Crimson Blades Castle...

I was returning home...